February 8
Knowing that I am having a Special Treat for dinner. . .a company event at the newly popular and celebrated Vix at one of the Art Deco hotels on Ocean Drive, I content myself with tiny roast beef sandwiches that I am serving to faculty at Miami Dade-North campus as part of a luncheon presentation that I am giving.
I go to Vix with pretty high expectations. The place has been written up everywhere, most notably in Bon Appetit which raves about its posh setting and first-rate cooking. I am more than disappointed, I am pretty horrified at the dining experience, the clumsiness of the service, and the myriad of flavors that are overwhelming in their almost pompous presentations.
The evening starts with what is becoming increasingly mandatory. . the Drink at the Bar before being allowed to sit down. .. I order some sort of pomegranate concoction. .but, before the bartender gives it to me, he hands it to one of my dining companions to taste, a lovely young woman, but someone whom I have met a couple of times. I find it. . well, I can't quite think of the word. . that my company has just paid $16 for a drink that the bartender ( who seems like a delightful fellow) has decided on my behalf to offer to someone else. Like I said, clumsy.
The room itself is lovely, dark lighting and flowing curtains. Unfortunately, I cannot give you much more of a report than that because I sit facing the kitchen, so I could basically be at Denny's for all that I saw of the establishment.
Our waiter approaches us with this statement, "I am going to be your guide for a culinary adventure". My beloved M who is fortunately part of our dining group and I exchange glances, hoping that this is being said with some sense of irony. Unfortunately, it was not. The waiter, whom I'm sure was well-meaning, would spend as much as eight or nine minutes ruminating on the various wines, specials, teas, etc., should have had the awareness to see that we were conducting a business dinner and that his pontifications were annoying us, rather than enhancing our experience. By the time we got to a ten minute dissertaton on the $10,000 tea humidor that he showed me, we were a little weary.
Fortunately another waiter named Paul took a liking to me and made the evening come alive with his sense of humor, questions about what we needed, and bag full of truffled lollipops for me to take home.
The food: Mr. Wierzelewski, I am delighted that you have been on a trip around the world to learn about flavors and follow the spice route as we were told by our waiter. But, my most heartfelt advice to you is to focus on one of the places you liked the most and really, really create "first-rate" dishes. Your menu is all over the place. . Indian, Moroccan, Asian, ceviche, Florida stone crab claws. . .I truly believe that if you will pick one. .probably the Moroccan. . and just go with it. . that you will have the kind of reputation that brings people back again and again. And, that is what South Beach restaurants really need to survive longterm rather than just as the Restaurant of This Year.
You might want to think about losing some of the cuteness as well. A palate cleanser of some kind of thyme concoction on a spoon served with something resembling a suppository filled with a buttermilk concoction that we were told to alternately squirt on our tongues was more disgusting than delightful.
Dear M's entree of seafood hot pot which we were told would have a presentation that we would never forget came out in a shallow bowl with some squiggly design of an unfathomable sauce that looked like something M's nephew would have finger painted. And, then. . the "hot pot" of lobster, shrimp, scallops, and fish. .was placed over the bowl, completely obfuscating the presentation we would long remember.
The best thing that I had was foie gras "two ways"--pan seared and cognac marinated torchon with cardamon brioche and pomegranate (oh, so popular, aren't you, you dear, dear pomegranate?)--pear relish, vanilla syrup. The flavors complemented each other fairly well and the combination of the hot, squishy foie gras and the cold, firm foie gras was rather pleasant.
Lamb prepared three ways was fine, but not memorable. There was spit-roasted rack and leg of lamb with casserole of aromatic melting shoulder with crushed green chickpeas, moroccan spiced tomato-eggplant relish and coriander jus.
I will not bore you with the details of the dessert except to tell you that it was something about key lime and had a chaser of pineapple/thyme/coriander juice that was truly vile and tasted like something the doctor would make you drink before a procedure.
Those of you who know me are aware that I am usually more than charitable in my assessments. So forme to write so critically. . well, it was an evening that will keep me away from South Beach restaurants for some time. Or, until I hear about a place that I feel truly has its act together. Because to spend almost $1000 on this meal for four people. . well, that has to be a Culinary Adventure that will only create positive memories.
That's what I ate today!
